2012 Promise

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

I will do. I will do. I will do. Starting today, in this moment I will do what I desire to do and stop desiring to simply do. I will tackle challenges head on, in the moment, not procrastinating the difficult. I will dream only to accomplish, instead of dream to pass the time. I will set and accomplish attainable goals. I will stop expecting to achieve unrealistic images. I will hold myself to a high standard, but not so high that I can not see the rewards on the other side. Starting today, I will accept the differences in my life as opportunities. I will find the value in not having certain things, and trust the process. This is the TIME. This is the PLACE. I am the PERSON.

I looked for a quote for 2012 for quite a while, and then decided what better to try and live by than my own words.THUS.

...and that my Dear, was all she wrote...

Words I Would Say

Thursday, December 22, 2011

I have the lyrics to this video painted on canvas, hanging in my living room at home. It was the first thing I hung on my wall when Caroline and I moved into our apartment July of 2010. It's yet another of the many songs that I "devote" to Caroline, and have since the day she was born. As it says,

"Please hear these simple truths: Be strong in the Lord, never give up hope, you're gonna do great things, I already know. God's got his hands on you, so don't live life in fear. Forgive and forget, but don't forget why you're here. Take your time and pray. These are the words I would say."

It's completely common of me to think of all of the things I want to teach and show Caroline. It's easy for me to conjure a list of morals I want to instill in her life. But, what would Caroline say to me?

A Child's Request

1.) My legs are little, and my arms are short. Remember when we are shopping in busy places or we are in a hurry, to slow down for me. Wait for me.

2.) My hands are little. When I drop my snack or spill my milk, please know that I am trying to please you and show you how I have grown, but I am not yet grown.

3.) You are my life. Without you, I know nothing. When I cry because you leave me at Sunday School, understand that my worst fear in my small world is that you will not return.

4.) When I tell you "no!" and it embarrasses you in front of your friends, know that I am learning to stand up against things I disagree with. I will learn that it is pointless to disagree with you because you are "always right", but in the meantime, foster my leadership skills.

5.) I am sensitive to your feelings. I know when something is wrong. It hurts enough to see you in pain, please don't take your frustrations out on me. I only want to make you proud. I don't understand the difference between upset at the world and upset at me, and in my eyes: you are simply upset.

6.) Let me be wrong. Give me the freedom to learn from my mistakes, but your wisdom to come back to when I find my fault. Please steer me in the right direction, but do not shove me down the path.

7.) Remember that the dishes will still be there, the fuzz will remain in the carpet, and the wrinkles in the clothes give them character. I will think you are "cool" enough to play with for only a short time. You can clean when I'm a teen, and no longer need you to play.

8.) Please show me what real love means. Do not shout in anger. For I will remember your actions much greater than your words.

9.) Accept my imperfections. Please do not redo things for me. Instead find beauty in what I have accomplished. Teach me that perfection is not always attainable, but that success is not measured that way anyways.

10.) My eyes have seen much less of the world than yours, my ears have heard less too. Consider my exposure to things that you don't want me to run home and tell Grandma about.

... and that my Dear, was all she wrote...


Thursday, December 15, 2011

Messy Hands,

Missing Bedtimes,

Finger Printed Cookies,

The Curiosity,

Please Know That... This Is What I Live For.

...and that my Dear, was all she wrote...

Top Ten Things I Find When I Am Not Looking....

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

10. Time- When I don't think about not having any, I seem to make better use of it. Every time I reach out for more time, it flees.


9. Patience- I never claim to have any, yet every single day is a test of it... to my knowledge, I'm passing.


8. Self- I never realize that I'm lost, until I stumble upon myself and I say, "hey, where have you been?!"



7. Happiness- “Happiness is like a butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder…”– Thoreau


6. Passion- It's the times when I am not trying to find something to enjoy, that I do the things I enjoy most.


5. Wisdom- Every time I think I am wise enough to handle a situation, life checks that theory. When I look back, I can always see the moments I grew wiser, and they are NEVER times I would have assumed.



4. Friendship- The best friendships have not arrived in my moments of loneliness, but rather my times of acceptance.


3. Excitement- The most anticipated things in life are those things that you never knew could "light you up", but you are pleasantly surprised when they do.



2. Willingness- I have yet to figure out how to convince myself to want to do things I don't want to do... have you?


1. Love- The single best part of love, is that the truest kind never comes when your heart is prepared... that's where the butterflies come from. The butterflies remain when you don't expect someone to surprise your heart, but they still do. Over and over.



...and that my Dear, was all she wrote...

Wise Words Wednesday

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

I am feeling a little quiet this Wednesday, so since I have no words of my own, I'm going to steal someone elses. Wise Words Wednesday:

...and that my Dear, was all she wrote...

2011 Relationships

Thursday, December 1, 2011


I continue to marvel at the different relationships in my life, and this time of year inevitably beckons reflection on how these relationships have changed, grown, faded, or remained the same throughout the past 12 months. I can confidently say that this year has been FULL of changes in relationships, and the primary cause has been my decision to eliminate meaningless ones and pour that energy in more purposeful ones.

In the past year: I have seriously dated someone, broken up with someone, befriended more than 10 new "legitimate" friends, ended friendships with at least 5 people, been on dates with at least 6 different people, pursued friendships with at least 4 of those 6, developed an even closer relationship with at least 1 of those 6, renewed a friendship with 2 old friends, maintained extremely close friendships with my 6 very close girlfriends, and grown 1 friendship into more than just that.
(now you are all wondering where/if you fit into any of those relationships ha!)

It really is remarkable how people come and go in our lives, like a leaves in the wind.

I am proud to say that I am finally comfortable ending both friendships and relationships that do not prove themselves to be fruitful. This is an extremely monumental thing for me as change is something I used to FEAR. In fact it may be the only thing I have truly feared in my life for a long time. This year's relationships changed that for the better.

I speak for myself, but I'm sure if most of us are honest these words are true for everyone: Every relationship should serve a purpose. If it doesn't, limit the attention and emotion you attach to it. For instance: Each of my girlfriends serves a completely different need in my life. That's what makes them all so wonderful and special to me. I'm going to name drop because I know my four best girlfriends won't mind!!

Here's an example:

UT Ashley is the wild child. She always brings out the crazy side of me, and allows me to be "free" of myself for just a while. She encourages me, and supports me by being right there when I need her to take my mind off of the things that drag me down.


OU Alyssa is the friend you find once in a lifetime. She's been by my side for 21 years, and I expect her to be for the next 21. We are growing in to two very different women, but despite any differences, there is nothing that could keep us from each other. She is the friend that is there NO MATTER WHAT I NEED OR WHEN I NEED IT!


TECH Katelyn is the voice or reason and calm in the storm. She always gives me words of wisdom and is full of love for me. Her advice is often blunt, and not what I want to hear, but certainly what I need to. She is logic. She pulls me back down to earth. Kate is there when I need a wake up call! Or a midnight call....


A&M Chelsea is a good glass of wine and a bunch of "you go girl" 's. Chelsea is there when I need someone just "know what I mean" without me even having to say it! She's definitely the person I go to when I just want to vent and toast to that. We both think each other are crazy, we don't talk much while we are apart, but the minute you get the two of us in a room, you have two girls that would do anything for each other (including cutting and pasting 100 colored paper hearts)!


(I specifically posted the schools that these ladies are at because I am so VERY proud of them, where they have taken their lives, and proud to say that I have a best friend graduating from 4 of the BIG 12 Schools. Boomer! Wreck, Hook, and Whoop em Sooner!)

These are just some examples of people in my life that I have every intention of furthering relationships with in the coming year. I encourage everyone to take a look at 2011's relationships and think about who mattered, and who just blew up your Facebook feed with negativity and drama. Pour your heart into those relationships that grow you.


"Those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter."

Perhaps the most important relationship that has morphed this year is the one with myself. I have grown, and improved in countless ways. I have ended the relationship with the me that feared, and began one with the girl that could take on anything.

...and that my Dear, was all she wrote...

On Being Picky

Monday, November 28, 2011

When I go to order a sandwich, it never ceases to amaze me at how shocked the sandwich people (for lack of a better title) look when I put in my request.

"Turkey, Swiss, White Bread, Mayo. Yes that's it. No I don't want any vegetables. Yes I'm sure."

(and yes this is the way I order it at EVERY sandwich place- regardless)

Over the years it has become obvious to me, that waiters and food servers in general find me "difficult" or "picky". I have since developed a theory that I am not "difficult", but rather so "simple" that people don't know how to accept it. But even if my weird ways are coined as "picky", I haven't quite figured out yet what is so wrong with that.

Sure we are talking plain sandwiches and dry cheeseburgers, but in life, why do have such an aversion to pickiness?

We have all been told at some point in our lives or another "don't be picky", but some of us have carried that typical motherly response into other, more critical areas of our lives. It is in my opinion that settling can be one of the very worst things we can ever do for ourselves, in ANY aspect. If we are not "picky", how does one ever expect to find what they are searching for? Few times in life does the right thing show up the first time we seek it. It is typical of the Lord to send choices our direction, and allow us to sift through them, developing perseverance along the way.

I think the two big areas that this concept of pickiness applies most is in the job scene and relationships. Both are major time commitments, that one often feels thankful just to have in their lives. It is common to see people stuck unhappily at jobs, or unhappily in relationships for fear of suffering over the "loss" of one or both of these things. But is temporary unhappiness not WORTH eventually finding the "one" that you no longer have to compromise happiness for at all? I say yes.

I don't think many people feel comfortable with saying "no", nor do they feel confident that something that meets their criteria will come along. This type of thought process is for the weak of heart. While there is a true need to appreciate what you have, how will you learn to appreciate if no work is involved in the search?

I believe pickiness is one of the best and most attractive qualities in a person, and I will not settle for less than someone who is not at least half as picky as I am. I want to know that I was as hard for them to find as they were for me. Is it too much to ask that they not be as "plain" as my sandwich though? :)

...and that my Dear, was all she wrote...

A bit from Florida

Monday, November 21, 2011

We arrived in Florida on Saturday evening after a LONG, and I mean LONG car ride with 6 people plus Caroline... so like 6.5 people. Despite how long we were in the car, Caroline actually impressed me without how well she behaved! I must have told her a million times that we were going to the beach, and for someone who had no idea what the beach was, she sure waited patiently to see it! The downside? I don't think she will ever believe me again when I say, "We are almost there," as I told her that the entire last three hours.

Needless to say, we arrived to our Condo around dinner time. Starving, we all ventured up to the PH (Penthouse)- and oohhhed and ahhhhed at the 4,000 + sq. ft. condo we were staying in. I will post some cool pics of that later. We were all a little worn out so we grabbed a bite to eat and then settled in for the night.

Laura and I have been getting up each morning and running. Our first morning run was filled with complaining and doubt, as we attempted to run on the beach. Finally about 1 mile into our run, we had conjured some beach runners knowledge by loosing the shoes, running closer to the water, and leaving all care behind for getting our clothes wet as we frequently get attacked by waves, completing our first day with a 3.55 mile run. Day two we added another half mile, and completed it in less than four minutes longer than the day before. Clearly we got a clue after that first day.

Besides our morning runs: we have all spent the days being lazy on the beach, reading, taking pictures, and eating good sea food. I have even managed to get an essay out of the way. This may be one of the most productive vacations I have had yet.

Caroline is crazy about the beach. She LOVES it!! Now the ocean on the other hand, not so much! She looks at me with bewilderment when I get remotely close to the water, and all but jumps out of her skin when I put her down by the tide. At least she is staying fairly clean while we are out there? I'm definitely not worried that she's going to run in without supervision. That's a plus!

Today we spent the entire morning at the beach, and I really started thinking about how different things are this year. I'm so excited to have Caroline here participating in this yearly family tradition, but it's a totally different game than when I did what I wanted all day every day for the week. For instance: Right now, I could be on the beach getting my tan on, but instead I'm blogging inside while Caroline takes a nap. When we are laying on the beach reading I get through one page every 5 minutes because I keep checking on her making sure she is not eating sand, running away, being carried away by seagulls, or any other typical beach tragedy.

Having said that, I wouldn't change it for the world!! I love watching her discover all of these new and exciting things in her world! The weather here as been fabulous: Sunny and in the 70's with a slight breeze. I am in love with the fact that Caroline can play outside all her little heart desires, and that I can actively participate without thinking of all of the 10 million things I SHOULD be doing. That's what my vacation was all about for me this year anyhow.

Tonight I think my cousin and I are going to see Twilight, just like we have the past couple of years during our Thanksgiving vacation. It's a tradition that will sadly end after next Thanksgiving when the last of the series comes out. **SNIFF SNIFF**

That's about all that is going on in our world. HAVE A GREAT WEEK!!

...and that my Dear, was all she wrote...

Go The Distance

Friday, November 18, 2011

"Distance is not for the fearful, it is for the bold. It is for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone, in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It is for those knowing a good thing when they see it, even if they don't see it nearly enough."


I've decided that physical distance is fact, and there is no denying the number of miles separating two destinations, but how you perceive the distance can change the entire obstacle itself.

Something to consider.


...and that my Dear, was all she wrote...

11.15.11- A quote by me

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

In life we often know the logical choice, what makes sense, and which decision is the most risky. Every decision has a consequence. We know this too. What we often times forget is that the uncertainty is invaluable. Logic gets you into the position to take risks, and most great endeavors started with a risk that made no logical sense. Illogical, senseless, risky decisions often times leave everyone around us wishing they were brave enough to make those types of decisions.

You wonder what if it doesn't... and to that I say

...but OH, what if it does.

...and that my Dear, was all she wrote...


Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Lola (Our new kitty) is adjusting well. She is still extremely needy, sometimes annoying, and still figuring out that her litter box is in the bathroom, but overall she has been doing well. Last night, I was slightly anxious about her behavior, and extremely exhausted. Add those two together and you get *dun duh da** Psycho Girl! I woke up slightly irritable and ready to throw in the towel already.

I got ready to the music of Meowing, and then woke Caroline up. I got her out of bed, got my morning hugs and kisses, then I froze. I was struck with an extremely enlightening realization. As I looked at Caroline, all innocent and sleepy eyed, I realized what an iconic symbol she is in my life. Now mind you, I realize that most parents have an unconditional love for their children and can not possibly fathom life without them, but in my case, I don't simply love Caroline, I NEED her. What I realized at that moment was: Caroline is the only thing in my life that I haven't given up on. When times are hard, I run from most everything in life: Sports, Relationships, Needy Pets, Jobs, etc. Caroline is the first thing in my life that I love unconditionally and don't look for an "out" of when things don't go as planned.

She has taught me the meaning of the word Committed. I know that she needs me, but she will never understand how much I needed her.

This is a song I listened to A LOT when I was at OU, just trying to get through the semester to go home and have Caroline. I listened to it again the other day, and really can't express my feelings towards her any better than this song can.

...and that my Dear, was all she wrote...

Say Hello!

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

We have added a new family member! Say "Hello" to Lola Jo!

...and that my Dear, was all she wrote...

Why I Say No

Entering into the "terrible twos" phase in this journey, much like every other child in the world, Caroline has developed an attachment to the word "NO!". She is the sweetest little thing, but when she doesn't want to do something, there isn't a moments hesitation before that phrase flies out of her mouth, usually accompanied by a sly smile, as if challenging me to a dual of some sort.

(Doesn't she just look like she is ready to tell you "no"?)

All of this impulsive declaration of Independence brought a question to the fore front of my mind. At what point did we stop saying "no" to the things in life that keep us from happiness?

As we get older, we stop demanding what we want in life and start settling for things we don't. I think a lot of us are very in touch with what we want and what we don't, but it's so much easier to say "yes" in times of decision than it is to suffer the consequences of a rejecting "no". We are constantly presented with situations that require a commitment of some sort. What if we stopped committing to things that we know we shouldn't, don't want to, or can't do? What if we stopped saying "yes" to so much?

There is a silly song that comes on Caroline's "Nana Puddin" CD that we listen to in the car, and every time it comes on I tell her, "This is Mom's favorite song." The chorus says,

"Sometimes in life you've gotta say no, no doubt it. Sometimes in life you've gotta say maybe maybe maybe. Sometimes in life you've gotta say Y.E.S, but only say 'yes' to the choices that are best."

The point is: Just like Ecclesiastes 3 says, "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens."

I'm for "yes", lots of "yes"s in life, but I'm also for "NO". I prefer it not be shouted in anger over an unshared toy or defiance, but honestly, I can suffer through Caroline's "NO"s right now, if in return she will continue to say it for the right reasons for the rest of her life.

Top 5 reasons Why I say No:

1. I physically can not do something.

2. I am not emotionally willing to risk my heart for this experience.

3. I have prior commitments to others, and intend to honor them.

4. I have prior commitments to myself, and intend to honor them

5. The potential consequences of this experience are not worth the potential 'fun'.

...and that my Dear, was all she wrote...

A take on "Me" time

Thursday, November 3, 2011

A few days ago, I stumbled upon one of those fill-in-the-blank paragraphs in SELF magazine and decided to fill it in. I thought it may be fun to share my answers with you, as it definitely ties in to the hoopla I have been reading this month about finding time to love yourself. So here ya go:

A Love Letter To.... You

I'd like to take a minute to give thanks for me. I deserve Chick-Fil-A, a new computer, and the most "Down to Earth" award, because I truly rock. Someone with my strong personality and good advice giving skills should be feted with a shopping spree. So on November 1, I vowed to take at least a few hours for me. I'll take several runs a week, enjoy a good book, and give Katelyn a call, because we have the most uplifting and encouraging conversations. I may even wear my rain boots and pearls, and refer to myself as The Queen of Chateau De La Courtney, all afternoon. Starting now, I'll remember to acknowledge that I deserve time for my writing and space for my eight million crafts and projects. In short, I'm going to enjoy the heck out of myself, on Self Day and every day! ___________________________________________________________________

The survey was fun, but I couldn't help but think of it as almost a JOKE. While I believe it is very important to value yourself and value your time, I'm somewhat annoyed with all of the "Make time for myself" mumbo jumbo I have been reading on nearly every blog and site this month so far. Someone wise once told me, "your life is not your own", and how true this is!

To a certain extent, it is important that we give ourselves some recognition and even some reward for the hard work we put into our lives and families, but I can't help credit the "need for acknowledgement" problem in young people today, back to this notion that we are to be spoiled and praised for our participation in life. Furthermore, we have developed the notion that if we do not receive ENOUGH of this from those around us, we must resort to providing it for ourselves.

NOW, all of that being said, I have been known to buy myself a necklace or frequent my favorite restaurant for a more expensive lunch, just a gesture to myself. Hypocritical? Not really. I give back to myself all of the time, and these small "happys" (as I call them), are simply things that fit into my day as a mother, worker, daughter, etc. There is no need for me to "carve" out several hours for myself. It's not about me. My happiness is not derived by the time I can get to myself, but rather the people in my life that are taking up the time I have.

If you have yet to commit yourself to a family of your own, remember that you are still a part of a family. As a son or daughter, sister or brother, nephew or niece, cousin, grandchild, etc. , you are committed to giving your time to those people in your life even if its not by choice. Remember- those people devoted what could have been "self" time to you at one point to get you where you are now. If you have a spouse or children, you CHOSE to relinquish the majority of remaining "self". There is nothing wrong with doing things that make you happy, but once children are involved, your few hours a day may need to transform into a few minutes. MAKE THEM COUNT! I am thankful when I can take a 1o minute shower without little hands thrashing the curtain open. __________________________________________________________________


As negative as I'm sure this post sounds, the conclusion is rather simple and optimistic.

Your life is not your own. You are not ENTITLED to anything in this life, including hours of "me" time. Start looking at the small things you do for yourself as the BIG things that keep you motivated and inspired. When you stop for a cup of Starbucks on your way to work, or make YOUR favorite dish for dinner- those things are for you even without the time allotted for it. It is okay for you to spend a few hours getting your nails done, or maybe shopping for your winter wardrobe, but just understand that the time spent doing those things is time you should feel privileged to instead of warranted. So go take that run, or curl up with that book, AFTER your other commitments are fulfilled. Love yourself through it all.

...and that my Dear, was all she wrote...

A Letter To Me From Me

Monday, October 24, 2011

Today I opened my email to lovely surprise, an email from myself. I found a website years and years ago called http://www.futureme.org/ . I sent myself a letter to be delivered on this day of this year- 5 years, 8 months, and 6 days ago. I decided to share with you the letter that my 15 year old self wrote. It's not deep. It's very simple, but it really made me think.

I wrote:
Dear Future Me,
Hey Courtney! How have you been? it's been a while...GO FIND YOUR LIFE BOOK...I'll wait...are you on the right track? Is everything going as planned?

For those of you who don't know, my Life Book is a leather bound sketch book, that I posted pictures of how I wanted my life to be: Cars I would drive, Schools I would go to, Jobs I would have, Clothes I would wear, etc. In response to this sweet letter from myself, I have decided to write back.

Dear 15 year old self,

I'm doing pretty good! I don't have to ask how you are doing, because I remember. You hate high school. You will always hate it. Your going to switch high schools after next year, and while you will improve even more academically, you will still want out as fast as possible. But enjoy these things, because these are the things you will miss: Volleyball- and being so in shape without trying, living at home- and having your bills paid in return for your presence at family functions, having all your girlfriends right up the street and being able to go whenever called.

What should you NOT do right now? Care about boys! They don't know what they want, you don't know what you want, and even if you both did, you wouldn't know how to appreciate each other, so don't waste your time. You will get hurt. More than once. Your going to survive high school, and then you are going to make a decision that is going to change your life and the plan in your life book forever. You won't regret it, but you will wish you had timed it a little bit better.

Your going to graduate number 11 in your class, and go on to college at University of Oklahoma. Don't stress so much about the grades, care more about the education, later you will wish you had. You will go to OU for a semester and then your whole world is going to change.

Your, daughter is going to be born in April, and let me tell you, she is the cutest thing I HAVE EVER SEEN! Here is a picture of her:

Her name is Caroline Jo, and she is a mini you.

After she's born, you are going to date a few people here and there. Eventually you will date someone that you kinda feel like could be THE one. He's not. So when your heart breaks after the first break up, don't worry, you will get back together. When you break up again, it's not going hurt. Your going to be confidant and sure that this is much better for you, and someone else is better for you and Caroline too. Your going to meet a lot of new people right away, and your going to do a lot of fun and exciting things you never thought you would. Enjoy them.

Caroline and you have an AMAZING relationship that you will value more than any other relationship in your life.

You will talk about her all the time, think about her all the time, shop for her... your pretty much obsessed!

She makes you laugh. That's important right now.

Caroline is going to be your motivation for everything.

So to answer your question: Is everything going according to plan? I would say yes. Nothing is going according to yours, but EVERYTHING is going according to the Lord's.

I haven't told you everything, just the highlights. So don't worry, there are still plenty of surprises! You will be very happy some days, and very unhappy others, but I can assure you that you will be happy more days than not. Just remember: when things are not going your way, it may be because something greater is in the works, and it may take you 5 years, 8 months, and 6 days to see how far you have come.

You will hear from me soon.


...and that my Dear, was all she wrote...

It Doesn't Matter Why!

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

I'm extremely sorry for the vulgarity of this comment, but in being real with ourselves, don't we all have someone in our lives that we have wanted to say this to at one point or another? Maybe it's your best friend, or someone you barley know, or maybe that someone is you

I have spent a lot of time in my past doing all of the above, mainly because I'm always convinced that I could have changed things. But I am very proud to introduce to you my maturity. It has allowed me to tell myself this before someone else needed to, not once, but twice now!

I contemplated going into detail about the two instances in my life that I have been able to simply "move on", but the truth is, they don't matter. They mean nothing more to me than milestones that continued to define who I am, and let me tell ya, I'm pretty damn proud of that girl.

Here's the Cliff Notes to both of those relationships' end: There WERE things I could have changed. There were things I NEVER could have changed. There were parts that are my fault. There were parts that are his fault. There are a lot of "what ifs" that could be analyzed. But in the end, the pieces are better left shattered on the floor, because it doesn't matter why its over, all that matters is that it is.

The catch? Most of us (especially girls) want to believe that true love will prevail. Hollywood has told us so! Take the Notebook for example. Ali and Noah broke up and moved on, only to find out years later that they were meant to be together, and that they wasted years of their lives without one another. Right? I see two MAJOR "blurry" spots in this type of thinking in the real world. 1.) Ali and Noah broke up ONCE. Noah did not tell Ali every three weeks that "it isn't going to work out", and then keep texting her until they were practically back together. No, they spent years apart and realized what they had was irreplaceable and never to be taken for granted. 2.) BOTH of them wanted what they had. Do you think if Ali had relished in their lost love, and Noah was constantly trying to "get out" of her hold the story would have ended quite the same? I think not. These two circumstances stay true to almost all of Hollywood's successful love stories. Take the HINT!

The only other reason that I believe to even be remotely valid for not wanting to "move the Fuck on", is the fear of being alone. I'm almost 100% sure that this has crossed everyone's mind at the ending of a relationship, but here is the deal: You will never be alone if you like who you are alone with. The answer to this fear is simply to love yourself enough to know that one on one time with yourself, is better than another minute in an empty relationship. Besides- if you jump on the next person like a piece of lent out of loneliness, how long is it really going to be before you are right back where you started?

We have all relished in the loss of past relationships, but my reaction to the past two in my life validates my ability to give this advice: Stop trying! Once it's DONE, stop trying to fix, change, or understand why. It doesn't matter. Quite honestly, you will probably be more satisfied with the mystery, then you ever would be the answers to your questions.

Maybe its a friendship or a romantic relationship that needs to end, either way, remember:

"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you too, can become great. When you are seeking to bring big plans to fruition, it is important with whom you regularly associate. Hang out with friends who are like-minded and who are also designing purpose-filled lives. Similarly be the kind of a friend for your friends."

- Mark Twain

...and that my Dear, was all she wrote...

A Letter To You, Change

Friday, October 14, 2011

The Porch is back in business y'all! She got a minor facelift. I cleaned her up a little bit, and now The Pink Porch is good to go.

I have a had A LOT on my mind the past couple of days, and I have a strange feeling about the events in the coming season of my life. I have a strange feeling that, like the porch, there will be much change involved.


Change, what a scary word you are. I dread you on so many levels. Our relationship is fickle, and you have an uncanny ability to come when least desired, and prolong your visit when I need you the most.

You may quite possibly be the most versatile thing I have ever met: I spend you, I experience you, I am altered by you, I am recreated by you. My feelings for you are just as versatile, as I love you yet despise you in the very same breath.

You have an extremely ironic correlation between your two word forms. I use you, CHANGE, to purchase new things in hopes of CHANGING something in my life. Did you demand this type of dependence?

You are never reliable, you are much too inconsistent, and you can not decide your purpose, but worst of all, you are unpredictable.

Change, sometimes you sneak in my life so quietly, do your work, and slip out, that I don't even notice your presence. I look back over a time span, and see your fingerprints speckling all of my experiences. Then I look down to see your hand print on me. Other times you barge into my life, ordering me to adjust, just like a solider awaken to the sounds of battle.

I don't appreciate your crudeness. If I could depend on you to be there for me when the time calls, our relationship would be much more healthy, but for now it is clear who is in charge. Yes, I know there are times that you allow me some control, but ultimately I know, like a snake you will strike whenever you deem it necessary.

It is unfair for me not to credit you. There have been many times that you have understood when I needed you more then I did myself. You played the hero in disguise. You love me with a type of roughness I will never understand, but your actions sometimes show me that you know what's best- most always actually.

In fact- if it weren't for you, we would never see each other. You are holding our relationship together. Without your force, I fear, I would never reach out to you or invite you in. It's uncomfortable when we have been apart for so long. It's like sitting in a room with someone you have come to barley know.

Yes, Change, I have gotten all of your letters. I understand that if I would change on my own you would not have to show up uninvited. It is just so hard. Your job is so very hard. I will work on it so that our meetings can be a more pleasant experience for us both.

You have never shown up without good reason. For that, I respect you.

I will see you soon. I'm sure.


...and that my Dear, was all she wrote...

The Porch Is Under Construction!

Thursday, October 13, 2011

The Pink Porch is about to get a MAKE OVER! Every great girl, needs a little refreshing from time to time. I'm going to be cleaning up the HTML Codes, color schemes, etc. SOOO Try not to laugh TOO hard at what you may see over the next 24 hours, and be sure to check back and see all the updates in the next day or so! I'll try to be quick.

If you check back and everything looks the same, it's because I saved my template and half way through my updating I got frusturated and gave up! FYI! :)

...and that my Dear, was all she wrote...

Thankful For Glitter Pumpkins!

Monday, October 10, 2011

Pumpkins were the theme of the day here at our house. We bought three pumpkins: One large one for me, one small one with an awesome stem that I was going to do something totally cute with, and one PERFECT baby pumpkin for Caroline to paint. My intentions were to glitter my huge pumpkin like the pumpkins I saw on Pinterest.

We got all of our pumpkin decorating tools and I found the cutest WITCH stencile. All of a sudden I got really sad that I wouldn't be CARVING a pumpkin for the first year in my life. SO instead I resulted to doing BOTH! I carved a pumpkin and spray painted it with special glitter spray to get THIS!

Behold my very sparkly pumpkin! I love it. My favorite part is that it's fun in the day, and it's really neat at night when it is all lit up.

Caroline painted her pumpkin, and had a ball! She decided to take over the third pumpkin as well. BYE BYE cute pumpkin with the awesome stem to make a cute decoration out of.

O well! It was worth it.

On another note: 40 days of Thankfulness started today. Check out the facebook page for more details HERE.
Today was the first day, and I'm so excited!

Back to the office tomorrow for a four day week! YAY!

...and that my Dear, was all she wrote.

Long Forgotten No Longer

Friday, October 7, 2011

When people hear the word "vintage", they often associate it with the synonym "old". In order to successfully wear vintage clothing, one must begin to pair "vintage" with the concept of "renewal". Vintage style does not stem from someone who views used pieces of clothing as worn out and out dated, but rather as an opportunity for recreation. Vintage clothing and accessories are just long forgotten fashion staples that need to be revived. This "renovated" style is all about the questions, "how can this fashion piece of the past, become a fashion statement today?"

One of the major appeals to vintage style is its affordability. Vintage pieces often times end up in thrift stores and resale shops, where they are typically discounted significantly from what the regular retail value would be. While both of these places are ideal for finding well priced, vintage clothing and accessories, for more authentic vintage pieces, yard sales are the place to shop. Here's the secret: By nature people are hoarders. We hold on to everything, hoping that someday we will rekindle a love with it and reuse it all over again. More times than not, "stuff" starts to take over our lives and naturally we begin to clean out things, oldest to newest. When that old stuff ends up with a fifty cent price sticker on it, that's when their old becomes your new.

Besides being a fairly cheap alternative to add some "spice" to your wardrobe, vintage dressing also allows one to become creative with their style. Just think, if everyone wears only what is "new" in the stores, the room for creativity and uniqueness diminishes because the market of life begins to over saturate itself with a single "look". By blending the current trends with a touch of the past, each outfit can take on an entirely new personality, matching that of the person wearing it. Vintage clothing is the perfect way for one to mesh their need for current styles, with their inspirations from the past.

The idea of having a vintage style may sound appealing, but your ability to pair the right pieces may daunt you. The thing to remember is to look beyond the article itself and begin to imagine it in a new light, paired with your favorite t-shirt or pair of jeans. Sometimes it takes viewing an older accessory with a newer style before the beauty of a vintage piece can be seen. But most importantly, begin to understand, that just as an aging woman prefers not to be called "old", so too vintage pieces do not wish to be categorized this way. They are simply pieces from our past, trying to find a place in our future. They just need the right eyes to see them there.


This is my most recent garage sale find. it was $35. This is a real Coach Messenger purse I'm guessing from the 90's. I'm in love!

Whoop, there is the seal.

My favorite thing about the bag is this ink spot on the back. It gives my bag character and its own personality.

Vintage money bracelet from some old jewelry my grandma had collected over the years

This belt is one just like I had as a kid in the early 90's. It's the traditional leather braid from GAP. I also love my OWL necklace. I bought this on a spontaneous road trip with one of my best friends, at an antique shop. The white scarf on the bottom is one of my FAVORITE fall and winter accessories. Resale shop:$3.

Okay, this is my ALL TIME FAVORITE pair of boots. They are so cute with leggings in the fall. They are from the same resale shop as the scarf.

I call this my Kardashian Jacket

It is so old ladyish when alone, but adorable when thrown over a dress or with jeans!

Resale Shop

Love the Pleat!

...and that my Dear, was all her vintage self wrote...
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