Thursday, August 18, 2011

It seems like lately everyone has been experiencing some big changes in their lives. I have talked with a lot of people who have either ended a relationship, engagement, marriage, or simply had disputes with people in their lives. Many times, it seems, this leaves the person seeking some sort of closure. Initially, closure sounds like a really logical idea. As humans, we feel that we need some sort of obvious ending, in order to understand that it's time for a new beginning. I can get on board with that. But the more and more I look at this concept, and the more I understand about the dynamics of human relationships, the greater my understanding becomes of that fact that "Closure" is a nice idea, but it's simply not practical.

Do I think that a time of healing is necessary after any ended relationship? Absolutely. Do I think it's okay to go through a period of confusion and uncertainty? Of course! But do I think that wallowing in your doubts until you have a clear point of closure with the person is healthy? No way!

Your happiness can not stem from someone else's actions. You can not wait for a defining moment, that may or may not come for years after an ending, before you realize your value and purpose, and set out again on your journey.

This is all coming from the pain I have watched others struggle through as they await a moment of clarity and definition. It comes from the unease I felt in my own heart during times of transition. This life full of change is hurtful enough. Demanding closure from someone else (who may not even recognize this as a need in your life), is like "Slow Dancing in a Burning Room" if you will. Decide to take the closing of a relationship into your own hands! Don't rely on someone else's actions towards you to "seal the deal". This can potentially end in more pain than if you simply lived with the uncertainty forever, as someone else's actions me be hurtful and only prolong your healing.

I leave you with this simple conclusion:

Sometimes in life, it's better

Just to accept who you were,

Recognize who are are,

Realize what you had,

Decide what you want,

Choose to move on, contingent of no one.

-Courtney Surber

...and that my Dear was all she wrote...

1 comment:


Design by Studio Mommy (© Copyright 2015)