A Letter To Me From Me

Monday, October 24, 2011

Today I opened my email to lovely surprise, an email from myself. I found a website years and years ago called http://www.futureme.org/ . I sent myself a letter to be delivered on this day of this year- 5 years, 8 months, and 6 days ago. I decided to share with you the letter that my 15 year old self wrote. It's not deep. It's very simple, but it really made me think.

I wrote:
Dear Future Me,
Hey Courtney! How have you been? it's been a while...GO FIND YOUR LIFE BOOK...I'll wait...are you on the right track? Is everything going as planned?

For those of you who don't know, my Life Book is a leather bound sketch book, that I posted pictures of how I wanted my life to be: Cars I would drive, Schools I would go to, Jobs I would have, Clothes I would wear, etc. In response to this sweet letter from myself, I have decided to write back.

Dear 15 year old self,

I'm doing pretty good! I don't have to ask how you are doing, because I remember. You hate high school. You will always hate it. Your going to switch high schools after next year, and while you will improve even more academically, you will still want out as fast as possible. But enjoy these things, because these are the things you will miss: Volleyball- and being so in shape without trying, living at home- and having your bills paid in return for your presence at family functions, having all your girlfriends right up the street and being able to go whenever called.

What should you NOT do right now? Care about boys! They don't know what they want, you don't know what you want, and even if you both did, you wouldn't know how to appreciate each other, so don't waste your time. You will get hurt. More than once. Your going to survive high school, and then you are going to make a decision that is going to change your life and the plan in your life book forever. You won't regret it, but you will wish you had timed it a little bit better.

Your going to graduate number 11 in your class, and go on to college at University of Oklahoma. Don't stress so much about the grades, care more about the education, later you will wish you had. You will go to OU for a semester and then your whole world is going to change.

Your, daughter is going to be born in April, and let me tell you, she is the cutest thing I HAVE EVER SEEN! Here is a picture of her:

Her name is Caroline Jo, and she is a mini you.

After she's born, you are going to date a few people here and there. Eventually you will date someone that you kinda feel like could be THE one. He's not. So when your heart breaks after the first break up, don't worry, you will get back together. When you break up again, it's not going hurt. Your going to be confidant and sure that this is much better for you, and someone else is better for you and Caroline too. Your going to meet a lot of new people right away, and your going to do a lot of fun and exciting things you never thought you would. Enjoy them.

Caroline and you have an AMAZING relationship that you will value more than any other relationship in your life.

You will talk about her all the time, think about her all the time, shop for her... your pretty much obsessed!

She makes you laugh. That's important right now.

Caroline is going to be your motivation for everything.

So to answer your question: Is everything going according to plan? I would say yes. Nothing is going according to yours, but EVERYTHING is going according to the Lord's.

I haven't told you everything, just the highlights. So don't worry, there are still plenty of surprises! You will be very happy some days, and very unhappy others, but I can assure you that you will be happy more days than not. Just remember: when things are not going your way, it may be because something greater is in the works, and it may take you 5 years, 8 months, and 6 days to see how far you have come.

You will hear from me soon.


...and that my Dear, was all she wrote...

It Doesn't Matter Why!

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

I'm extremely sorry for the vulgarity of this comment, but in being real with ourselves, don't we all have someone in our lives that we have wanted to say this to at one point or another? Maybe it's your best friend, or someone you barley know, or maybe that someone is you

I have spent a lot of time in my past doing all of the above, mainly because I'm always convinced that I could have changed things. But I am very proud to introduce to you my maturity. It has allowed me to tell myself this before someone else needed to, not once, but twice now!

I contemplated going into detail about the two instances in my life that I have been able to simply "move on", but the truth is, they don't matter. They mean nothing more to me than milestones that continued to define who I am, and let me tell ya, I'm pretty damn proud of that girl.

Here's the Cliff Notes to both of those relationships' end: There WERE things I could have changed. There were things I NEVER could have changed. There were parts that are my fault. There were parts that are his fault. There are a lot of "what ifs" that could be analyzed. But in the end, the pieces are better left shattered on the floor, because it doesn't matter why its over, all that matters is that it is.

The catch? Most of us (especially girls) want to believe that true love will prevail. Hollywood has told us so! Take the Notebook for example. Ali and Noah broke up and moved on, only to find out years later that they were meant to be together, and that they wasted years of their lives without one another. Right? I see two MAJOR "blurry" spots in this type of thinking in the real world. 1.) Ali and Noah broke up ONCE. Noah did not tell Ali every three weeks that "it isn't going to work out", and then keep texting her until they were practically back together. No, they spent years apart and realized what they had was irreplaceable and never to be taken for granted. 2.) BOTH of them wanted what they had. Do you think if Ali had relished in their lost love, and Noah was constantly trying to "get out" of her hold the story would have ended quite the same? I think not. These two circumstances stay true to almost all of Hollywood's successful love stories. Take the HINT!

The only other reason that I believe to even be remotely valid for not wanting to "move the Fuck on", is the fear of being alone. I'm almost 100% sure that this has crossed everyone's mind at the ending of a relationship, but here is the deal: You will never be alone if you like who you are alone with. The answer to this fear is simply to love yourself enough to know that one on one time with yourself, is better than another minute in an empty relationship. Besides- if you jump on the next person like a piece of lent out of loneliness, how long is it really going to be before you are right back where you started?

We have all relished in the loss of past relationships, but my reaction to the past two in my life validates my ability to give this advice: Stop trying! Once it's DONE, stop trying to fix, change, or understand why. It doesn't matter. Quite honestly, you will probably be more satisfied with the mystery, then you ever would be the answers to your questions.

Maybe its a friendship or a romantic relationship that needs to end, either way, remember:

"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you too, can become great. When you are seeking to bring big plans to fruition, it is important with whom you regularly associate. Hang out with friends who are like-minded and who are also designing purpose-filled lives. Similarly be the kind of a friend for your friends."

- Mark Twain

...and that my Dear, was all she wrote...

A Letter To You, Change

Friday, October 14, 2011

The Porch is back in business y'all! She got a minor facelift. I cleaned her up a little bit, and now The Pink Porch is good to go.

I have a had A LOT on my mind the past couple of days, and I have a strange feeling about the events in the coming season of my life. I have a strange feeling that, like the porch, there will be much change involved.


Change, what a scary word you are. I dread you on so many levels. Our relationship is fickle, and you have an uncanny ability to come when least desired, and prolong your visit when I need you the most.

You may quite possibly be the most versatile thing I have ever met: I spend you, I experience you, I am altered by you, I am recreated by you. My feelings for you are just as versatile, as I love you yet despise you in the very same breath.

You have an extremely ironic correlation between your two word forms. I use you, CHANGE, to purchase new things in hopes of CHANGING something in my life. Did you demand this type of dependence?

You are never reliable, you are much too inconsistent, and you can not decide your purpose, but worst of all, you are unpredictable.

Change, sometimes you sneak in my life so quietly, do your work, and slip out, that I don't even notice your presence. I look back over a time span, and see your fingerprints speckling all of my experiences. Then I look down to see your hand print on me. Other times you barge into my life, ordering me to adjust, just like a solider awaken to the sounds of battle.

I don't appreciate your crudeness. If I could depend on you to be there for me when the time calls, our relationship would be much more healthy, but for now it is clear who is in charge. Yes, I know there are times that you allow me some control, but ultimately I know, like a snake you will strike whenever you deem it necessary.

It is unfair for me not to credit you. There have been many times that you have understood when I needed you more then I did myself. You played the hero in disguise. You love me with a type of roughness I will never understand, but your actions sometimes show me that you know what's best- most always actually.

In fact- if it weren't for you, we would never see each other. You are holding our relationship together. Without your force, I fear, I would never reach out to you or invite you in. It's uncomfortable when we have been apart for so long. It's like sitting in a room with someone you have come to barley know.

Yes, Change, I have gotten all of your letters. I understand that if I would change on my own you would not have to show up uninvited. It is just so hard. Your job is so very hard. I will work on it so that our meetings can be a more pleasant experience for us both.

You have never shown up without good reason. For that, I respect you.

I will see you soon. I'm sure.


...and that my Dear, was all she wrote...

The Porch Is Under Construction!

Thursday, October 13, 2011

The Pink Porch is about to get a MAKE OVER! Every great girl, needs a little refreshing from time to time. I'm going to be cleaning up the HTML Codes, color schemes, etc. SOOO Try not to laugh TOO hard at what you may see over the next 24 hours, and be sure to check back and see all the updates in the next day or so! I'll try to be quick.

If you check back and everything looks the same, it's because I saved my template and half way through my updating I got frusturated and gave up! FYI! :)

...and that my Dear, was all she wrote...

Thankful For Glitter Pumpkins!

Monday, October 10, 2011

Pumpkins were the theme of the day here at our house. We bought three pumpkins: One large one for me, one small one with an awesome stem that I was going to do something totally cute with, and one PERFECT baby pumpkin for Caroline to paint. My intentions were to glitter my huge pumpkin like the pumpkins I saw on Pinterest.

We got all of our pumpkin decorating tools and I found the cutest WITCH stencile. All of a sudden I got really sad that I wouldn't be CARVING a pumpkin for the first year in my life. SO instead I resulted to doing BOTH! I carved a pumpkin and spray painted it with special glitter spray to get THIS!

Behold my very sparkly pumpkin! I love it. My favorite part is that it's fun in the day, and it's really neat at night when it is all lit up.

Caroline painted her pumpkin, and had a ball! She decided to take over the third pumpkin as well. BYE BYE cute pumpkin with the awesome stem to make a cute decoration out of.

O well! It was worth it.

On another note: 40 days of Thankfulness started today. Check out the facebook page for more details HERE.
Today was the first day, and I'm so excited!

Back to the office tomorrow for a four day week! YAY!

...and that my Dear, was all she wrote.

Long Forgotten No Longer

Friday, October 7, 2011

When people hear the word "vintage", they often associate it with the synonym "old". In order to successfully wear vintage clothing, one must begin to pair "vintage" with the concept of "renewal". Vintage style does not stem from someone who views used pieces of clothing as worn out and out dated, but rather as an opportunity for recreation. Vintage clothing and accessories are just long forgotten fashion staples that need to be revived. This "renovated" style is all about the questions, "how can this fashion piece of the past, become a fashion statement today?"

One of the major appeals to vintage style is its affordability. Vintage pieces often times end up in thrift stores and resale shops, where they are typically discounted significantly from what the regular retail value would be. While both of these places are ideal for finding well priced, vintage clothing and accessories, for more authentic vintage pieces, yard sales are the place to shop. Here's the secret: By nature people are hoarders. We hold on to everything, hoping that someday we will rekindle a love with it and reuse it all over again. More times than not, "stuff" starts to take over our lives and naturally we begin to clean out things, oldest to newest. When that old stuff ends up with a fifty cent price sticker on it, that's when their old becomes your new.

Besides being a fairly cheap alternative to add some "spice" to your wardrobe, vintage dressing also allows one to become creative with their style. Just think, if everyone wears only what is "new" in the stores, the room for creativity and uniqueness diminishes because the market of life begins to over saturate itself with a single "look". By blending the current trends with a touch of the past, each outfit can take on an entirely new personality, matching that of the person wearing it. Vintage clothing is the perfect way for one to mesh their need for current styles, with their inspirations from the past.

The idea of having a vintage style may sound appealing, but your ability to pair the right pieces may daunt you. The thing to remember is to look beyond the article itself and begin to imagine it in a new light, paired with your favorite t-shirt or pair of jeans. Sometimes it takes viewing an older accessory with a newer style before the beauty of a vintage piece can be seen. But most importantly, begin to understand, that just as an aging woman prefers not to be called "old", so too vintage pieces do not wish to be categorized this way. They are simply pieces from our past, trying to find a place in our future. They just need the right eyes to see them there.


This is my most recent garage sale find. it was $35. This is a real Coach Messenger purse I'm guessing from the 90's. I'm in love!

Whoop, there is the seal.

My favorite thing about the bag is this ink spot on the back. It gives my bag character and its own personality.

Vintage money bracelet from some old jewelry my grandma had collected over the years

This belt is one just like I had as a kid in the early 90's. It's the traditional leather braid from GAP. I also love my OWL necklace. I bought this on a spontaneous road trip with one of my best friends, at an antique shop. The white scarf on the bottom is one of my FAVORITE fall and winter accessories. Resale shop:$3.

Okay, this is my ALL TIME FAVORITE pair of boots. They are so cute with leggings in the fall. They are from the same resale shop as the scarf.

I call this my Kardashian Jacket

It is so old ladyish when alone, but adorable when thrown over a dress or with jeans!

Resale Shop

Love the Pleat!

...and that my Dear, was all her vintage self wrote...

Steve Job's: iCommencement

Thursday, October 6, 2011

I wish I could say I stumbled upon this on the Internet, but I didn't. All of the talk about Steve Job's death has spawned many blog posts about his commencement speech delivered to the Graduating class of Stanford University in 2005. Thus, where I got curious and followed this link off of another blogger's page. I encourage each and everyone of you to take the time to read his speech if you have not already.

Often times, I "skim" through online articles, picking and choosing the parts that I find interesting. Job's speech, however, had my full attention from the first word to the last. I believe I will re read this during times of an encouragement drought.

...and that my Dear, was all she wrote...

A Measure of Success

Monday, October 3, 2011

"Our greatest fear should not be of failure,

but of succeeding at things in life that don't really matter."

- Francis Chan

This quote has been staring me in the face every single day for six months or more as it is in the signature of my work emails, but it wasn't until recently that I started to truly understand the meaning behind it. After an AWESOME dinner with one of my best girl friends, Chelsea, which looked a little like this,

( Yes I asked for two A LA CARTE fajitas and they accidentally brought me two PLATES FULL)

the truth behind these words really became clear to me. We are submerged in a world that constantly measures success in album sales, ticket office sales, and the number of zeros at the end of our paychecks. We are made to believe that we have "failed" if we never get promoted within our companies, or if our product proposals are rejected.

The world has clearly defined success outside of the office as well. Being a successful woman can either mean you have a well paying career, or that you have graduated from college, found the man of your dreams, married him, enjoyed the newlywed years by having dinner on the table by 5 and all of his undershirts folded and socks paired, had a few kids, etc.

None of these things are bad accomplishments in life, nor is there anything WRONG with desiring these milestones (excuse me if it comes across that way), but the real point to be made, is that this success is only temporary, and solely achieving it should be feared.

In my own life, I used to plan on having a very successful career, and was driven by this desire for what I considered a time worthy investment. NOW? I hope to establish a stable career, but if you offered me a VP position I wouldn't take it. I realize the stress and time that comes along with that type of "success", and I would rather be a successful mother than any other job in the world.

I'm not one to keep up with celebrities, but I read an interesting quote from Angelina Jolie the other day in August's Issue of PEOPLE MAGAZINE,

on motherhood "I don't enjoy acting nearly as much as I used to. I love being a mom."

When one of Hollywood's most "successful" women recognizes where her value is, I think we all need to make sure we do too.

All I ask is that you remember this points:

1.) Careers will matter until you retire

2.) Cars will matter until they break down

3.) Clothes will matter until the style fades

4.) Fame will matter until a 15 year old, heart throb with flippy hair captures the upcoming generation.

Are you successful at things that don't matter, or are you constantly trying to be successful at the things that do?


...and that my Dear, was all she wrote...

Happy Fall Y'all

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Being that it is October 1st, I deemed it necessary to post something to kick off the month! Last week I was feeling a little under inspired, but during that time, I have come up with some AWESOME blog topics that I'm SO excited to share with y'all over the next month.

Things I'm looking forward to most this October?

1.) The nice cool weather

2.) Candy, Candy, and more Candy

3.) Pictures of Miss. Caro Jo in her Halloween costume

4.) Pumpkins on my door step!

5.) The glitter pumpkin decorating Caroline and I are going to do this year, like THIS

6.) Boots and Leggings

7.) Using my pumpkin pie pan (since I pretty much can only use it once a year)

8.) Pillsbury Holiday Shape sugar cookies with pumpkins and ghosts on them!

9.) Caroline's Halloween shirt and hair bow

10.) PUMPKIN PIE!!!!!!!

October 2011 is officially here, and after this HOT HOT HOT Texas summer, I am ushering it in the door! What are some of your favorite things about this October?


...and that my Dear, was all she wrote...

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