It Doesn't Matter Why!

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

I'm extremely sorry for the vulgarity of this comment, but in being real with ourselves, don't we all have someone in our lives that we have wanted to say this to at one point or another? Maybe it's your best friend, or someone you barley know, or maybe that someone is you

I have spent a lot of time in my past doing all of the above, mainly because I'm always convinced that I could have changed things. But I am very proud to introduce to you my maturity. It has allowed me to tell myself this before someone else needed to, not once, but twice now!

I contemplated going into detail about the two instances in my life that I have been able to simply "move on", but the truth is, they don't matter. They mean nothing more to me than milestones that continued to define who I am, and let me tell ya, I'm pretty damn proud of that girl.

Here's the Cliff Notes to both of those relationships' end: There WERE things I could have changed. There were things I NEVER could have changed. There were parts that are my fault. There were parts that are his fault. There are a lot of "what ifs" that could be analyzed. But in the end, the pieces are better left shattered on the floor, because it doesn't matter why its over, all that matters is that it is.

The catch? Most of us (especially girls) want to believe that true love will prevail. Hollywood has told us so! Take the Notebook for example. Ali and Noah broke up and moved on, only to find out years later that they were meant to be together, and that they wasted years of their lives without one another. Right? I see two MAJOR "blurry" spots in this type of thinking in the real world. 1.) Ali and Noah broke up ONCE. Noah did not tell Ali every three weeks that "it isn't going to work out", and then keep texting her until they were practically back together. No, they spent years apart and realized what they had was irreplaceable and never to be taken for granted. 2.) BOTH of them wanted what they had. Do you think if Ali had relished in their lost love, and Noah was constantly trying to "get out" of her hold the story would have ended quite the same? I think not. These two circumstances stay true to almost all of Hollywood's successful love stories. Take the HINT!

The only other reason that I believe to even be remotely valid for not wanting to "move the Fuck on", is the fear of being alone. I'm almost 100% sure that this has crossed everyone's mind at the ending of a relationship, but here is the deal: You will never be alone if you like who you are alone with. The answer to this fear is simply to love yourself enough to know that one on one time with yourself, is better than another minute in an empty relationship. Besides- if you jump on the next person like a piece of lent out of loneliness, how long is it really going to be before you are right back where you started?

We have all relished in the loss of past relationships, but my reaction to the past two in my life validates my ability to give this advice: Stop trying! Once it's DONE, stop trying to fix, change, or understand why. It doesn't matter. Quite honestly, you will probably be more satisfied with the mystery, then you ever would be the answers to your questions.

Maybe its a friendship or a romantic relationship that needs to end, either way, remember:

"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you too, can become great. When you are seeking to bring big plans to fruition, it is important with whom you regularly associate. Hang out with friends who are like-minded and who are also designing purpose-filled lives. Similarly be the kind of a friend for your friends."

- Mark Twain

...and that my Dear, was all she wrote...


Post a Comment


Design by Studio Mommy (© Copyright 2015)