A Letter To You, Change

Friday, October 14, 2011

The Porch is back in business y'all! She got a minor facelift. I cleaned her up a little bit, and now The Pink Porch is good to go.

I have a had A LOT on my mind the past couple of days, and I have a strange feeling about the events in the coming season of my life. I have a strange feeling that, like the porch, there will be much change involved.

CHANGE




Change, what a scary word you are. I dread you on so many levels. Our relationship is fickle, and you have an uncanny ability to come when least desired, and prolong your visit when I need you the most.


You may quite possibly be the most versatile thing I have ever met: I spend you, I experience you, I am altered by you, I am recreated by you. My feelings for you are just as versatile, as I love you yet despise you in the very same breath.


You have an extremely ironic correlation between your two word forms. I use you, CHANGE, to purchase new things in hopes of CHANGING something in my life. Did you demand this type of dependence?


You are never reliable, you are much too inconsistent, and you can not decide your purpose, but worst of all, you are unpredictable.


Change, sometimes you sneak in my life so quietly, do your work, and slip out, that I don't even notice your presence. I look back over a time span, and see your fingerprints speckling all of my experiences. Then I look down to see your hand print on me. Other times you barge into my life, ordering me to adjust, just like a solider awaken to the sounds of battle.


I don't appreciate your crudeness. If I could depend on you to be there for me when the time calls, our relationship would be much more healthy, but for now it is clear who is in charge. Yes, I know there are times that you allow me some control, but ultimately I know, like a snake you will strike whenever you deem it necessary.


It is unfair for me not to credit you. There have been many times that you have understood when I needed you more then I did myself. You played the hero in disguise. You love me with a type of roughness I will never understand, but your actions sometimes show me that you know what's best- most always actually.


In fact- if it weren't for you, we would never see each other. You are holding our relationship together. Without your force, I fear, I would never reach out to you or invite you in. It's uncomfortable when we have been apart for so long. It's like sitting in a room with someone you have come to barley know.


Yes, Change, I have gotten all of your letters. I understand that if I would change on my own you would not have to show up uninvited. It is just so hard. Your job is so very hard. I will work on it so that our meetings can be a more pleasant experience for us both.

You have never shown up without good reason. For that, I respect you.

I will see you soon. I'm sure.

-ME


...and that my Dear, was all she wrote...

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