A take on "Me" time

Thursday, November 3, 2011

A few days ago, I stumbled upon one of those fill-in-the-blank paragraphs in SELF magazine and decided to fill it in. I thought it may be fun to share my answers with you, as it definitely ties in to the hoopla I have been reading this month about finding time to love yourself. So here ya go:

A Love Letter To.... You

I'd like to take a minute to give thanks for me. I deserve Chick-Fil-A, a new computer, and the most "Down to Earth" award, because I truly rock. Someone with my strong personality and good advice giving skills should be feted with a shopping spree. So on November 1, I vowed to take at least a few hours for me. I'll take several runs a week, enjoy a good book, and give Katelyn a call, because we have the most uplifting and encouraging conversations. I may even wear my rain boots and pearls, and refer to myself as The Queen of Chateau De La Courtney, all afternoon. Starting now, I'll remember to acknowledge that I deserve time for my writing and space for my eight million crafts and projects. In short, I'm going to enjoy the heck out of myself, on Self Day and every day! ___________________________________________________________________

The survey was fun, but I couldn't help but think of it as almost a JOKE. While I believe it is very important to value yourself and value your time, I'm somewhat annoyed with all of the "Make time for myself" mumbo jumbo I have been reading on nearly every blog and site this month so far. Someone wise once told me, "your life is not your own", and how true this is!

To a certain extent, it is important that we give ourselves some recognition and even some reward for the hard work we put into our lives and families, but I can't help credit the "need for acknowledgement" problem in young people today, back to this notion that we are to be spoiled and praised for our participation in life. Furthermore, we have developed the notion that if we do not receive ENOUGH of this from those around us, we must resort to providing it for ourselves.

NOW, all of that being said, I have been known to buy myself a necklace or frequent my favorite restaurant for a more expensive lunch, just a gesture to myself. Hypocritical? Not really. I give back to myself all of the time, and these small "happys" (as I call them), are simply things that fit into my day as a mother, worker, daughter, etc. There is no need for me to "carve" out several hours for myself. It's not about me. My happiness is not derived by the time I can get to myself, but rather the people in my life that are taking up the time I have.

If you have yet to commit yourself to a family of your own, remember that you are still a part of a family. As a son or daughter, sister or brother, nephew or niece, cousin, grandchild, etc. , you are committed to giving your time to those people in your life even if its not by choice. Remember- those people devoted what could have been "self" time to you at one point to get you where you are now. If you have a spouse or children, you CHOSE to relinquish the majority of remaining "self". There is nothing wrong with doing things that make you happy, but once children are involved, your few hours a day may need to transform into a few minutes. MAKE THEM COUNT! I am thankful when I can take a 1o minute shower without little hands thrashing the curtain open. __________________________________________________________________


As negative as I'm sure this post sounds, the conclusion is rather simple and optimistic.

Your life is not your own. You are not ENTITLED to anything in this life, including hours of "me" time. Start looking at the small things you do for yourself as the BIG things that keep you motivated and inspired. When you stop for a cup of Starbucks on your way to work, or make YOUR favorite dish for dinner- those things are for you even without the time allotted for it. It is okay for you to spend a few hours getting your nails done, or maybe shopping for your winter wardrobe, but just understand that the time spent doing those things is time you should feel privileged to instead of warranted. So go take that run, or curl up with that book, AFTER your other commitments are fulfilled. Love yourself through it all.

...and that my Dear, was all she wrote...


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