2012 Promise

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

I will do. I will do. I will do. Starting today, in this moment I will do what I desire to do and stop desiring to simply do. I will tackle challenges head on, in the moment, not procrastinating the difficult. I will dream only to accomplish, instead of dream to pass the time. I will set and accomplish attainable goals. I will stop expecting to achieve unrealistic images. I will hold myself to a high standard, but not so high that I can not see the rewards on the other side. Starting today, I will accept the differences in my life as opportunities. I will find the value in not having certain things, and trust the process. This is the TIME. This is the PLACE. I am the PERSON.

I looked for a quote for 2012 for quite a while, and then decided what better to try and live by than my own words.THUS.

...and that my Dear, was all she wrote...

Words I Would Say

Thursday, December 22, 2011

I have the lyrics to this video painted on canvas, hanging in my living room at home. It was the first thing I hung on my wall when Caroline and I moved into our apartment July of 2010. It's yet another of the many songs that I "devote" to Caroline, and have since the day she was born. As it says,

"Please hear these simple truths: Be strong in the Lord, never give up hope, you're gonna do great things, I already know. God's got his hands on you, so don't live life in fear. Forgive and forget, but don't forget why you're here. Take your time and pray. These are the words I would say."

It's completely common of me to think of all of the things I want to teach and show Caroline. It's easy for me to conjure a list of morals I want to instill in her life. But, what would Caroline say to me?

A Child's Request

1.) My legs are little, and my arms are short. Remember when we are shopping in busy places or we are in a hurry, to slow down for me. Wait for me.

2.) My hands are little. When I drop my snack or spill my milk, please know that I am trying to please you and show you how I have grown, but I am not yet grown.

3.) You are my life. Without you, I know nothing. When I cry because you leave me at Sunday School, understand that my worst fear in my small world is that you will not return.

4.) When I tell you "no!" and it embarrasses you in front of your friends, know that I am learning to stand up against things I disagree with. I will learn that it is pointless to disagree with you because you are "always right", but in the meantime, foster my leadership skills.

5.) I am sensitive to your feelings. I know when something is wrong. It hurts enough to see you in pain, please don't take your frustrations out on me. I only want to make you proud. I don't understand the difference between upset at the world and upset at me, and in my eyes: you are simply upset.

6.) Let me be wrong. Give me the freedom to learn from my mistakes, but your wisdom to come back to when I find my fault. Please steer me in the right direction, but do not shove me down the path.

7.) Remember that the dishes will still be there, the fuzz will remain in the carpet, and the wrinkles in the clothes give them character. I will think you are "cool" enough to play with for only a short time. You can clean when I'm a teen, and no longer need you to play.

8.) Please show me what real love means. Do not shout in anger. For I will remember your actions much greater than your words.

9.) Accept my imperfections. Please do not redo things for me. Instead find beauty in what I have accomplished. Teach me that perfection is not always attainable, but that success is not measured that way anyways.

10.) My eyes have seen much less of the world than yours, my ears have heard less too. Consider my exposure to things that you don't want me to run home and tell Grandma about.

... and that my Dear, was all she wrote...


Thursday, December 15, 2011

Messy Hands,

Missing Bedtimes,

Finger Printed Cookies,

The Curiosity,

Please Know That... This Is What I Live For.

...and that my Dear, was all she wrote...

Top Ten Things I Find When I Am Not Looking....

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

10. Time- When I don't think about not having any, I seem to make better use of it. Every time I reach out for more time, it flees.


9. Patience- I never claim to have any, yet every single day is a test of it... to my knowledge, I'm passing.


8. Self- I never realize that I'm lost, until I stumble upon myself and I say, "hey, where have you been?!"



7. Happiness- “Happiness is like a butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder…”– Thoreau


6. Passion- It's the times when I am not trying to find something to enjoy, that I do the things I enjoy most.


5. Wisdom- Every time I think I am wise enough to handle a situation, life checks that theory. When I look back, I can always see the moments I grew wiser, and they are NEVER times I would have assumed.



4. Friendship- The best friendships have not arrived in my moments of loneliness, but rather my times of acceptance.


3. Excitement- The most anticipated things in life are those things that you never knew could "light you up", but you are pleasantly surprised when they do.



2. Willingness- I have yet to figure out how to convince myself to want to do things I don't want to do... have you?


1. Love- The single best part of love, is that the truest kind never comes when your heart is prepared... that's where the butterflies come from. The butterflies remain when you don't expect someone to surprise your heart, but they still do. Over and over.



...and that my Dear, was all she wrote...

Wise Words Wednesday

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

I am feeling a little quiet this Wednesday, so since I have no words of my own, I'm going to steal someone elses. Wise Words Wednesday:

...and that my Dear, was all she wrote...

2011 Relationships

Thursday, December 1, 2011


I continue to marvel at the different relationships in my life, and this time of year inevitably beckons reflection on how these relationships have changed, grown, faded, or remained the same throughout the past 12 months. I can confidently say that this year has been FULL of changes in relationships, and the primary cause has been my decision to eliminate meaningless ones and pour that energy in more purposeful ones.

In the past year: I have seriously dated someone, broken up with someone, befriended more than 10 new "legitimate" friends, ended friendships with at least 5 people, been on dates with at least 6 different people, pursued friendships with at least 4 of those 6, developed an even closer relationship with at least 1 of those 6, renewed a friendship with 2 old friends, maintained extremely close friendships with my 6 very close girlfriends, and grown 1 friendship into more than just that.
(now you are all wondering where/if you fit into any of those relationships ha!)

It really is remarkable how people come and go in our lives, like a leaves in the wind.

I am proud to say that I am finally comfortable ending both friendships and relationships that do not prove themselves to be fruitful. This is an extremely monumental thing for me as change is something I used to FEAR. In fact it may be the only thing I have truly feared in my life for a long time. This year's relationships changed that for the better.

I speak for myself, but I'm sure if most of us are honest these words are true for everyone: Every relationship should serve a purpose. If it doesn't, limit the attention and emotion you attach to it. For instance: Each of my girlfriends serves a completely different need in my life. That's what makes them all so wonderful and special to me. I'm going to name drop because I know my four best girlfriends won't mind!!

Here's an example:

UT Ashley is the wild child. She always brings out the crazy side of me, and allows me to be "free" of myself for just a while. She encourages me, and supports me by being right there when I need her to take my mind off of the things that drag me down.


OU Alyssa is the friend you find once in a lifetime. She's been by my side for 21 years, and I expect her to be for the next 21. We are growing in to two very different women, but despite any differences, there is nothing that could keep us from each other. She is the friend that is there NO MATTER WHAT I NEED OR WHEN I NEED IT!


TECH Katelyn is the voice or reason and calm in the storm. She always gives me words of wisdom and is full of love for me. Her advice is often blunt, and not what I want to hear, but certainly what I need to. She is logic. She pulls me back down to earth. Kate is there when I need a wake up call! Or a midnight call....


A&M Chelsea is a good glass of wine and a bunch of "you go girl" 's. Chelsea is there when I need someone just "know what I mean" without me even having to say it! She's definitely the person I go to when I just want to vent and toast to that. We both think each other are crazy, we don't talk much while we are apart, but the minute you get the two of us in a room, you have two girls that would do anything for each other (including cutting and pasting 100 colored paper hearts)!


(I specifically posted the schools that these ladies are at because I am so VERY proud of them, where they have taken their lives, and proud to say that I have a best friend graduating from 4 of the BIG 12 Schools. Boomer! Wreck, Hook, and Whoop em Sooner!)

These are just some examples of people in my life that I have every intention of furthering relationships with in the coming year. I encourage everyone to take a look at 2011's relationships and think about who mattered, and who just blew up your Facebook feed with negativity and drama. Pour your heart into those relationships that grow you.


"Those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter."

Perhaps the most important relationship that has morphed this year is the one with myself. I have grown, and improved in countless ways. I have ended the relationship with the me that feared, and began one with the girl that could take on anything.

...and that my Dear, was all she wrote...
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