Motherhood: Why that's enough said

Friday, January 10, 2014

Motherhood.

Yes that's a complete sentence. If you don't have kids yet... you will understand why that one word is enough to make you sigh a sigh of understanding.  I have always said that being a Mom is the literally Heaven and Hell all in one breath. It is incredibly rewarding, and amazing, and fulfilling, and motivating. You will stare at your child with complete wonder time and time again. They will never cease to amaze you. They are beautiful. They are hilarious. It is also exhausting, under appreciated, annoying, depressing, and sometimes it down right sucks! Kids are loud. They are messy. They are nosy. They are needy. They are whiny. They are rude, and the worse part is THEY ARE YOU!!!


 Remember when I said messy? Yup, that's the second living room, after the kids played on New Years Eve. HOW???

Now before you go and get the impression that I'm not madly in love with my 3 yr old daughter, just know, I absolutely am. She is my reason for everything. The love I have for her literally HURTS it is so strong. The slightest thought of something altering her existence in my life can bring me to tears in seconds (emotional basket case- another down fall to motherhood). That being said- being a mom is SO DANG ANNOYING!~

First off, you NEVER stop being a mom. Even when you sleep. I'm pretty sure the last night I slept in all soundness and complete deep sleep was on April 12, 2010. The day before Caroline was born. From the moment they are born, you spend every night sleeping with "one ear open". That intuition stuff- yeah IT'S REAL! Ryan says I don't have "excellent" hearing as I'm always saying "HUH' and "WHAT" to him. But, at 2 am, from the complete other-side of the house, over the noise of our fan, her oscillating fan, her humidifier, I will sometimes pop up and remark "She's Crying!". I will dash over to her side of the house, and sure enough, she will be still half asleep crying. Sometimes it's because she is about to throw up all over me, herself, and everything else in the room so that I can spend the next hour dealing with that. Other times I can tell it's because she's cold, or hot, or stuffed up, or uncomfortable. I make adjustments for her (because isn't that motherhood is, practically adjusting our children so they can live until they are old enough to do it for themselves?). Then I'll be back asleep in nothing flat. You NEVER stop being a mom.
All for her

Second, you can go from Mom of the year to Cinderella's EVIL step mother in NOTHING flat. Just the other night I was coloring with Caroline, and she was getting upset that I was faster than her and completing more pictures (I have 20 years on you kid. I haven't master much in life, but coloring I have under my belt. Get over it.) I told her I would slow down, and because she is the most detailed, precise, 3 year old I have ever met, I had to completely quit coloring to stay on pace with her one picture. She started getting mad that I was no longer coloring. I couldn't win! Finally the "getting mad" turned into down right crying, and it went from 'fun coloring with Mom' to 'I'm in bed early and will not be getting up until morning'. You HAVE to be able to be both to survive this role. They will eat you alive if you are always nice mom. I watch kids slowly eat their mother's everyday. If you don't have a backbone. Don't have kids. It's not worth it. Trust me. 

Bottom line is, the list could go on and on of things that make being a mom the most wonderful, terrible, thing you may possibly ever do. 

I called my own mother of 23 years yesterday, and got this:

Me: "What are you doing?"
Mom: "Messing with my new oven."
Me: "Cool. So at work blah blah. And I really feel like yadda yadda. Did you know that so and so..."
Mom: (distracted) " Yeah." "Humm." "Uh Huh." "Welll." "Whhhhhhaaatttt? Noooo I'm on the phone." "With Courtney" "No" "OK" "Hey Court, I'll have to call you later I have to go look at something".
Me: "UMMM...okay bye?"

TOTALLY DISENGAGED! I was so mad. I HATE that. When I call I want her full attention. I want an engaged conversation. I want her to color with me DANGIT! 

WOAHHHH- I am my mother! How many times a day does Caroline tell me a story that I say "Oh really, yeah, cool" to? How many HUNDREDS of times in her short life have I said "Caro, I'll be right back I have to ..." in the middle of her doing something or showing me something? I do it all the time! And guess what- all of us do!!

I read a book ( I believe I blogged about it when this blog first came about) called, I Was a Really Good Mom Before I had Kids By: Trisha Ashworth and Amy Nobile. If you have kids I totally encourage you to read it. If you DON'T have kids. Write down the title, and wait until you have kids. It will be so much more fun to read when you can relate and say "YES, YES, YES- that is MEEEEE". Great book. I love it. I have it. Read it. 


Well I recently read a little condensed version of that book by the same ladies called "Dirty Little Secretes, from Otherwise Perfect Moms". It's a 10 minute read, of one thought secretes mothers have shared anonymously. If you are a mother, this book will have you howling. It will have your husband rolling his eyes as you try to read him some, while giggling, and wiping tears from your eyes. These secretes range from one mother who admittedly lets her children sleep in their school clothes during the week instead of pajamas so she doesn't have to fight in the morning. Another who says she buys Nordstrom gift cards at Safeway and fudge them into the grocery budget so she can buy something for herself and justify it. There was a mom who says she often skips whole chunks of her 3 year old's bed time story. Her daughter doesn't know the difference, and she's just too tired to read it all. Another mom tells her husband she's going pee, only to lock herself in the bathroom, sit on the side of the tub, and read People magazine for a minute. One of my favorites is the confession about dinner all of us moms want to shout when your husband asks. She tells him "Dinner? There is no dinner. There will never be dinner. Unless you come home with a plan. There is no plan. So don't ask!" AMEN!


Bottom line is: as mothers WE ARE ALL THE SAME. We all share the annoying frustrations of raising kids and raising our husbands. We can all agree that at times we completely ignore what are kids are saying because we flat out have no interest in it! It doesn't make us bad parents, it makes us real parents. My mom included. Sometimes I forget, because I'm 23, that I'm still her annoying kid. Sure, sometimes we are best buddies and can chat for hours about nothing. So can Caroline and I. But, at times, I'm still that little girl in her eyes saying, "Mom, mom, mom, mom". Sometimes I'm driving her nuts. Sometimes she just doesn't want to talk to me, and that IS okay. 

Whether your a mom yet, or sometimes have a mom that is too busy for you. Or maybe you are a mom that is guilt stricken over that time you told your toddler to stop talking, or not to "call your name one more time". Just remember, being a mother is literally the best/worst job out there, and if your still surviving a the end of the day as a mother, your doing a heck of a job! (Much less the fact that you had time to read this ridiculously long blog post without having to get up and wipe someone). ;)

...and that my Dear, was all she wrote...

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