What we should be reading about instead of "what to pack in your hospital bag"

Tuesday, November 25, 2014



This week marks week 4 of chaos over here at the Fry household, as Hudson turns 1 month old on Thanksgiving! Ryan keeps saying, "It just doesn't seem like it's been a whole month already, does it?!" 
To which I continue to respond, "Ehh, yeah, I mean maybe. Kinda. Like I can't believe it'a already been a month, yet at the same time... I feel like he's been here robbing me of my sleep and sanity for an eternity!" Mixed emotions much???



As we come to a close on the "month of doom" I talked about in my previous post, I have really been thinking about this past month and all the crazy things I have thought, felt, wished for, cried over, prayed about, questioned, and laughed about; all of the things I have adjusted, adapted to, accepted, and acknowledged. With all of these reflective thoughts and the surplus of people I know expecting little bundles of joys in the coming months both in person and on Facebook, I thought I would shed some realistic light on the changes that bringing a new baby home brings.


Facebook is such a deceptive tool at glorifying different life experiences of your friends and family. Occasionally we see a post of someone expressing negative feelings, to which we usually chalk it up as "that 'dramatic" person" on our Newsfeeds. The "NORMAL" people only share or post about the fun trips they are taking, the neat concerts they have tickets to, the fun family gathering they have attended, etc. We all talk about our spouses and how amazingly awesome they are on "Man Crush Monday" or "Woman Crush Wednesday". We post the funny things that come out of our toddlers' mouths. We share selfies and photos of our adorable kids, spunky pets, and our just made up and fixed up faces #bestdayever. 


Rarely do we share our reality. Why? Because there is a small part of all of us that wishes our life was  always "rainbows and butterflies" and subconsciously believe that if we only share what we want people to know about, and convince our "friends" about our great lives, then somehow we have it all together off of the internet too. Think about it: how often do you really see posts like 

"Feeling Frustrated! I don't understand why I have to do everything around the house, feed the family, do everyone's laundry, and when I ask for (HUSBAND) to take out the trash, he rolls his eyes like a five year old, and it makes me want to just slap someone. #MCM #lovehim #besthubbyever"

Exactly.


It is for that reason that I'm sharing the reality of having a newborn here. Because on Facebook I can post adorable pictures we have had taken of him, I can share status about how sweet he is before his bath, but what I don't do is post at 2 am when I'm awake with him... unable to get him to sleep... alone... angry that I'm awake... and truly questioning what we were thinking having another baby!?

So... for all the new moms and mommas-to-be that I'm friends with...here it is- What we should be reading about instead of "what to pack in your hospital bag".

You are going to be on an adrenaline high when you get to the hospital to welcome your bundle of joy. You really will be. It's great. It's magical. It's like NO other experience in this life. Relish in it.
The first couple of days of your newborn's life will be spent in the hospital, with round the clock company, help, and assurance from Doctor's and Nurses. You can ask questions and get immediate answers that you will trust from a "professional". You can send the baby to be cared for by "professionals" in the nursery while you catch some ZZZZZ's (AND SERIOUSLY... DO THIS! Don't try to be supermom... enjoy the help). 

Then you are going to bring your baby home. Your going to show him/her around your house and then he/she is going to sleep pretty much 90% of the day for that first week or so, and you and your spouse are going to think: "This isn't so bad. Why do people make it sound SO bad?"


Then week two is going to set in. Little Love won't sleep quite as much, he/she will be pooping out more than his body weight in fecal matter, and your google searches will have gone from "where is the best place to eat in town on Saturday nights" to "is projectile vomitting normal in newborns?" and "how many oz should my 2 week old be eating?" In fact, google will become your main source of assurance (which is scary in and of itself) that 'Yes, you officially do NOT know what your doing or how ANYONE does'. 

Weeks three and four are a blur of diaper changes, buying 5 different types of bottles to figure out which one's actually prevent the most gas, testing of 2 types of formula to help him be less "fussy", many (and I mean MANY) laps around the house as you think "I have no idea what else to do for you!?!"

During these weeks you will question SO many things. You will wonder why you ever rocked the boat in the life that was once so "normal" and "easy" and "fun". You will question if things will ever get better/easier. You will ask yourself how can I keep doing this day after day. 

...and guess what... that's OKAY! As a mom, we all do it. 


You will love your new little one. There will be moments you look at them and just want to cry because they are so cute and innocent and precious. For that moment you will take back every negative thought you had.  You will post an adorable picture of your baby cuddling you with those sweet baby yawns. You will vow to enjoy every last second of their life. Then a sleep deprived you shows up the next day, and during that 6 pm melt down (by the way every kid changes from angel to gremlin around the 6 pm time... that doesn't change) and you start questioning (and googling) all over again.  

Then one day... it gets better. One day you look back and realize yesterday wasn't quite as frustrating as the day before. Suddenly you feel a little more equipped for this job than you did last night. 
It really happens that fast. 

Hormones are a very real and very frustrating thing that us momma's have to deal with after having a baby. Your husband will probably look at you like you have 10 heads. Other women will empathize with you. You won't even RECOGNIZE you. 



Just be prepared. Be prepared to not look like the mother's in the Pamper's commercials. Always snuggling a cooing, smiling baby. Be prepared for the questions and the uncertainty. Be ready to feel confused, and guilty, and sad, and excited all at one time. Be prepared to wonder why. Be prepared to love something so much you would give your own life for it, and at the same time feeling like that same little thing is sucking the life from you!

During this past month I have been more emotional than I have been my entire life. I love Hudson more than words can express, but saying good-bye to the life I knew has been hard for me. Accepting that the ease of raising one child is temporarily on hold and that a lot of hard work lay ahead, hasn't been as "natural" as I remember it being. I have struggled so much to actually believe that we will find a "normal" again. BUT- I will say... it gets better. Every single day gets easier. Every day you feel like you understand your baby more and more. Each morning you have a better and better idea of what the day will hold. To top it off, each day you are further and further away from the life you knew before them. 

I tell you this not because I want you to look at having a little one as a negative, but rather that you should know... despite everything you are about to experience and feel, there will be days that you browse your Facebook newsfeed and wonder if anyone feels the way you do. I want you to know that someone does. All of us Momma's do, and even though we may only post about the amazing milestones our little ones are achieving or the adorable faces and noises they are making, we too have days and nights that we feel like the 'only one' to feel how we do too. We are all the "only ones" together. 

  1. Motherhood is a great honor and privilege, yet it is also synonymous with servanthood. Every day women are called upon to selflessly meet the needs of their families.


How Great It WILL Be

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Anyone who knows me has probably heard my recollection of my first month of motherhood. I always tell people how I remember sitting in Caroline's room one night during her first month thinking to myself, "either I'm not going to make it to see her 1 month old, or she isn't going to make it to 1 month old. One of us will not survive this first month."

Month 1 with a newborn in my mind has been labeled "The Month of Doom". Your not sleeping much. When you are awake, your trying to catch up on everything you can't do while little one is awake. If you're like me and had a C-section, your moving slower than usual, and are depressed that you can only shower and not take a hot bath. If your breastfeeding, your constantly trying to figure out your body and what to do with all the milk or lack there of, either way. Basically in short: you, your body, and your baby all feel like your from foreign countries, speaking differently languages. 

Early Morning Snuggles With Sister


As of Monday we are half way through the Month of Doom around here. Hudson had a Doctor's appointment on Monday. Everything was great- weight was up from his birth weight of 7 lbs. 11 oz. to 8 lbs. 2 oz. (although I'm not sure how, since he poops as I'm changing poopy diapers. Seriously, it's insane. HAHA) 
I had my 2 week check up today as well, everything checked out great for me. I'm cleared to drive (did that last week anyways), cleared to cary Hud in his seat (did that yesterday)... so basically cleared for all the things I have been doing haha. I can't wait for my 6 week appointment!

This time goes so fast, and I know that I will look back on pictures and miss this sweet baby stage, but now I want to get down to the truth... the truth is, even though I feel like a bad mom for saying it... if I could fast forward a few years, I would. Here is why:

I know how great it WILL be. That's it. That sums it up for me.

Baby #1- everything they do is amazing. You are learning as fast as they are learning. You aren't READY for them to be any older than they are at that moment, because you don't know what's coming.

Baby #2- you have already figured out what stages rock and what stages suck. You know how great it will be when they reach certain milestones. You already know what you like and dislike about babies, toddlers, kids, etc.

I remember how much FUN Caroline got to be when she reached about a year and half. That's when she truly became my buddy.

I look at Hudson now and I do soak up the sweet yawns, and little grins. He's so cuddly, and smells so good. He's soft and sweet and innocent, but I also see the little boy that will roll cars around the window seals, and jump off couch cushions with just underware and a cape on. I just can't wait!

In the meantime- I wake up every few hours in the night, show him random toys he could care less about to stimulate him, walk laps around the house singing ridiculous songs that don't make sense, change dirty diaper after dirty diaper... all because I know how great it WILL be; how great it will be when he says Momma, when he discovers that he has hands and they actually do what he wants them to do, when he sits up, when he giggles, when he enjoys splashing in a bath... sigh... I could go on and on. :)




One Week Reflections

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

(Excuse my iPhone pic!)

As of today, Hudson is 9 days old! It's crazy that he's already over a week old- it's flown by. 
That being said, there are several things over this past week, that even though I have done this once before with Caroline, I feel like I have had to overcome. 

Having had a C section, I have had to do a lot of resting. Luckily, I married into an amazing family who has kept Caroline busy playing up in Arkansas while I spent the week recovering. 
(THANKS GRAMMY and AUNT KARRIE!) 

Even with all of the resting, I'm still so far from feeling like myself it's ridiculous. I don't remember feeling quite this way with Caroline. I mean, with Caro, I went back two work 2 weeks later!! What the heck! I guess that's what happens when you are 19 and fresh of the high school volleyball court.

This time around, I feel like the pain comes and goes, but it never seems to go all the way. :(
I have had several mini break downs, just DYING to feel like myself and normal again. Right now I feel like the wrong move and I may just split in two. (EWWW gross visual, sorry!). 

I'm ready to wear my normal clothes without regard to them rubbing my incision. I'm ready to be able to get in and out of bed without pain. I'm ready to be able to carry Hudson in his seat and put him in and out of the car. SO MANY "I'M READY"s. 

I know it takes time, and I know I will be "normal" soon enough. But as of today, I'm just counting down the minutes it feels like. This dreary weather has not helped and neither has the fact that I'm instinctively a very busy person. It's hard for me to just sit around.


Today we had his second "newborn screening". He slept the whole time, which was a relief because during the first screening in the hospital, he cried so hard even Ryan had to step out of the room because we felt so bad.

Monday we have his 2 week check up, which I'm very anxious for. Breastfeeding has lots of advantages, but one thing that I continue to worry about is if he's getting "enough". I feel like he sleeps SOOOO much more than I remember from Caroline, and because of that, I'm always worried that he needs to eat, and isn't getting enough. His weigh in and visit with the Dr. should help ease my concerns. WHICH, by the way, seem to be more plentiful than with Caroline. I don't know if it's because I was living at home with my mom, who calmed my concerns with her, or what, but with Hudson I feel like I worry so much more!! I feel like a first time mom. :/

Tuesday I have MY 2 week check up, which obviously I'm also anxious for.

So in the mean time, Caroline get's home tomorrow, Ryan continues to be working like a crazy man (sometimes until ridiculous hours in the morning... life in the Toy biz around the holidays *SIGH*), and I continue to hopefully HEAL. 

Updates soon! 

Hudson is Here!

Monday, November 3, 2014

As usual after a frenzy of posts, I have been MIA (get used to I suppose).  The last couple of weeks has just been crazy busy! I was wrapping up my last couple of weeks of work, then I spent a week running around and doing things to prep for baby (nails, hair, etc. all those things you neglect to do the first 6 months of your baby's life)! 

After those two weeks of crazy, Hudson arrived! A week ago today, he made his sweet appearance (via a scheduled C section :)- no element of surprise here. 

Hudson Hamilton Fry
October 27, 2014
7lbs 11oz. 20in. 

He came out with a full head of hear and screaming, which as a mom are two of the BEST things.  We had some hospital pictures taken, can't wait to get those back and share them with you. Should have them by next week.

So far things have been pretty low key. We came home from the hospital on Thursday, and since then we have all been trying to figure each other out. Hudson is a very good baby so far. He doesn't cry much, only when he's hungry or needs a fresh diaper. During those times he goes 0-100 on the cry scale. He's either happy, or super angry! 

A couple of things we have found AWESOME so far are:

The MamaRoo

He loves to sit in this thing and rock. I asked for one from my parents for his shower gift, but then changed my mind because I couldn't justify spending $250 on another thing for him to "sit" in.
Then I found one listed on those online garage sales. Some lady had gotten one for her daughter, and her daughter did not like it. She was selling it almost brand new for $80. I decided to take a chance for 80 bucks. Brought it home, washed it all up... and I can say so far, knowing what I know now, I could have justified the $250.

You can check out the link here if your interested

Some advantages: 
The MamaRoo has LOTS of different rocking motions. It's not just back and forward like a swing, or up and down like a bouncy seat. The Mama moves in all sorts of unique ways (tree swing, car ride, rocking, kangaroo, etc.)

The Roo also takes up less of a footprint than your average swing. You don't have to have as much clearance from walls and other furniture. It sits stationary and just moves within it's base. 

If you buy one of these for a newborn, you need to buy the newborn insert as well (that's the colorful thing underneath him). It keeps them from slipping out. With the unique shape and modern fabric, I really don't see how a newborn would sit in it comfortably without it. 



The Baby Brezza Formula Pro

This thing is awesome! My parents bought it for us because once they saw the "baby Kuregg" (as we call it), they just thought it was too cool to not have, and IT IS!

As of right now we are both breast and formula feeding. It's been going great. Sometimes though in the middle of the night, when nothing seems to make him happy, being able to walk in there and simply press a button to end up with a perfectly tempatured, perfectly measured bottle in literally seconds is crazy awesome! It also works with ALL formula types and All bottle types... I mean really, how freakin neat is that!?

Check it out here

I love how modern LOOKING the Baby Brezza is, it makes it so I don't mind it sitting out all the time, unlike other appliances. It's obviously easy and convenient to use. The only draw back is the "monthly cleaning" seems like it may be a bit extensive, but we haven't experienced that yet so we shall see. 

Other than that, this is a must have for formula fed babies of all kinds. SHH... it makes me not want to breastfeed at all :/ lol it's just too cool!

Personalized Blanket

This precious blanket is one I had made once we decided on a name. I had wanted one for a really long time when I saw it on Pinterest a while back. This blanket rocks my socks off. It's SOOO soft, washes really well, and if I had a dollar for every time a nurse or visitor asked me where it was from at the hospital I would be rich! :) It was also pretty cool because when he was in the nursery, we could walk down there and spot him right away with his personalized blanket. I originally thought it would be more for decoration, but it has come to be one of his favorites. 

Here is the shop it's from

If you are looking for a GREAT shower gift, I recommend this blanket hands down.

Well that's about all that's up with our world here lately. I'm pretty sure our pets hate us after bringing Hudson home. They haven't been acting the same, maybe cause it's all we can do to remember to feed them. Caroline is definitely going through a little jealousy, but nothing time won't recover. She loves him.. she just wants to make sure we don't love him more than her :).

My posts are sporadic, but I'll be back... when I can catch another breath. Who knows how long that will be. HEHE




 
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