One Week Reflections

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

(Excuse my iPhone pic!)

As of today, Hudson is 9 days old! It's crazy that he's already over a week old- it's flown by. 
That being said, there are several things over this past week, that even though I have done this once before with Caroline, I feel like I have had to overcome. 

Having had a C section, I have had to do a lot of resting. Luckily, I married into an amazing family who has kept Caroline busy playing up in Arkansas while I spent the week recovering. 

Even with all of the resting, I'm still so far from feeling like myself it's ridiculous. I don't remember feeling quite this way with Caroline. I mean, with Caro, I went back two work 2 weeks later!! What the heck! I guess that's what happens when you are 19 and fresh of the high school volleyball court.

This time around, I feel like the pain comes and goes, but it never seems to go all the way. :(
I have had several mini break downs, just DYING to feel like myself and normal again. Right now I feel like the wrong move and I may just split in two. (EWWW gross visual, sorry!). 

I'm ready to wear my normal clothes without regard to them rubbing my incision. I'm ready to be able to get in and out of bed without pain. I'm ready to be able to carry Hudson in his seat and put him in and out of the car. SO MANY "I'M READY"s. 

I know it takes time, and I know I will be "normal" soon enough. But as of today, I'm just counting down the minutes it feels like. This dreary weather has not helped and neither has the fact that I'm instinctively a very busy person. It's hard for me to just sit around.

Today we had his second "newborn screening". He slept the whole time, which was a relief because during the first screening in the hospital, he cried so hard even Ryan had to step out of the room because we felt so bad.

Monday we have his 2 week check up, which I'm very anxious for. Breastfeeding has lots of advantages, but one thing that I continue to worry about is if he's getting "enough". I feel like he sleeps SOOOO much more than I remember from Caroline, and because of that, I'm always worried that he needs to eat, and isn't getting enough. His weigh in and visit with the Dr. should help ease my concerns. WHICH, by the way, seem to be more plentiful than with Caroline. I don't know if it's because I was living at home with my mom, who calmed my concerns with her, or what, but with Hudson I feel like I worry so much more!! I feel like a first time mom. :/

Tuesday I have MY 2 week check up, which obviously I'm also anxious for.

So in the mean time, Caroline get's home tomorrow, Ryan continues to be working like a crazy man (sometimes until ridiculous hours in the morning... life in the Toy biz around the holidays *SIGH*), and I continue to hopefully HEAL. 

Updates soon! 


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