What Happens in The Middle of the Night...

Monday, December 22, 2014

Darkness brings about strangeness it seems. Things that are not scary by day, become ominous at night.  The night brings calmness and stillness along with it, as well as sometimes fear, and change. "Big Moves" are often made, mysterious and questionable acts are often preformed, sicknesses are slept off, and children grow up....all in the middle of the night.

Having a newborn makes it easy to see these changes. Just last Monday (a week ago today), I was complaining to Ryan about how Hudson wouldn't smile at me like it said he should be doing by that point. I would talk to him and talk to him just hoping eventually he would smile when he heard my voice. One night last week (I can't even recall which), he went to bed in his tiny little crib, and the next morning I was doing my usual morning baby talk with him....and he smiled. He smiled once, and I assumed it was a fluke. I did it again, and sure enough, another smile! Since that morning, he's been smiling non stop all week. Every morning when I first talk to him he grins ear to ear. If you make eye contact and do pretty much anything...smile. Overnight he changed. He grew up just a little. Considering the amount of milestones he will hit within his first year, every single night he goes to bed, he wakes up seemingly a bit older. It's crazy what the night does.

After posting those pictures of Santa the other day, I pulled out the previous years visits with Santa, and just wanted to cry a little when I looked at Caroline. In 2012 she sat on his lap and looked like a BABY, then last year in 2013 she sat on his lap looking like a toddler, still little and tiny. This year I look at her on his lap and she looks like a CHILD. She is no baby any more...she's a little girl. There comes a point sometime after the first year or two, where the change slows down, it becomes an elusive thing. You can't see the moment things are changing, you can simply reflect on them once they have. It's crazy what the night does.

As a parent there are moments in every child's life that we will certain phases to pass. I was doing it just a few blog posts back! We face difficult road blocks in parenting like sleeping, teething, potty training, terrible twos, and for some terrifying threes even. These times are straight up ROUGH! But, in the midst of these trials, our little ones continue to lay their heads down each night, and the night grows them. They continue to change. 

I write this not as just a lesson to be learned by all parents, but as a reminder to myself as well. Some days are hard, and some phases are difficult, but regardless of how long they feel, the years truly are short. You can't dwell in these hardships, because if you do, at night while you are sleeping, your little ones will grow up, and you won't be able to look back with fondness and happiness of the memories you have of their little selves, instead the night will bring for you fear and regret for what you are loosing. 

So tonight, while your littles are asleep... tip toe in and kiss their sweet heads. Remember the way they look when they sleep. Listen to them breath those slow steady breaths. Take everything in. Don't let the night come do it's thing, until you have enjoyed one last moment of the age they are today.

(October 2013)


Post a Comment


Design by Studio Mommy (© Copyright 2015)